And I’m a Pokemon! Thanks Pinkie, this is the coolest thing ever. And in case you are lost already, my blogging bestie Pinkie does this fun thing where she makes you a Pokemon. Here’s me. She really knows me, too. This is so spot on I could use it for an intro or an about page. Hmm, maybe I will.
Shockingly, given the spastic nature of this blog, I have 42 followers. I suspect a few are mostly here to promote your own blogs, but at least pretend to read the entry you comment on and like, okay?
I turned 62 a few days back. Who knew? Well, I did. I mean, I plan to live to be 100 because I’m sure it will be interesting. I may add a few more years if I’m still interested. 😛 Some of my best friends in life expected me to die by the time I was 30. Hah! Pfffft!
Sorry for the flow of thought post. OTH I did one before and people liked it. Maybe I should make it a regular feature. Seriously, some days it’s about all I’m up to. But I feel they require an apology because I’ve written professionally and so I feel like an article or story must have a POINT, a beginning, middle and end and a proper plot of some sort.
That said, I also spent a good many years blogging professionally (or trying to) and set up blogs with focused subject matter and schedules and … well, this blog is sort of a disaster compared to those. This is an almost unintentional blog. It was set up near the end of my writing career and neglected for years, then used mainly so I could comment on anime reviews, so it’s never really had any purpose of it’s own. Poor blog. Patpatpat. Then of course WordPress went to this new “editor” and what little organization this blog did have went to shit.
A few days ago I commented on something and said “out loud” something I’ve been privately thinking and worrying on (like a dog worries a bone, going by for a nibble and a chew then reburying it). I’ve lost the urge to create. This is huge to me. I’ve been creating as long as I can remember, art, writing, something all the time. Then I did it professionally and overall I have to say things went to shit.
In my oddball life I’ve largely been punished for creation, and the bigger and better and more popular my creations become, the greater the punishment until the State of Nevada basically said they would kill my husband if I continued to create. (It’s a long story and I don’t want to sully this blog with it). I really have to make sure no one gets any idea that I could possibly be earning a fucking PENNY on anything I do or the punishment will be dramatic, swift, and dire.
I AM NOT EARNING A SINGLE PENNY FOR ANYTHING ON THIS BLOG. YOU MAY SEE ADS. THE INCOME FOR THOSE GOES TO WORDPRESS, NOT TO ME. REPEAT, I HAVE ZERO INCOME FROM THIS BLOG OR ANY ADVERTISING OR LINKS ON IT.
I’ve lost all desire for sex, too. You suppose it’s the same hormone? LOL. This, too, is hard to believe if you’ve known me during other parts of my life.
Speaking of sullying this blog, I did have another blog on blogger that turned into a personal blog that largely kept friends and family up on hubby’s health issues. During 2016, a year he spent mainly in the hospital, it became an intense and horrible record of the cruelty, profit mongering, and uncaring state of the current medical establishment. It got really angry and negative. I got really angry and negative. A year of having to literally defend my beloved from the doctors and nurses and so forth who SHOULD have been working to better his life but who actually, I swear to God, seemed to be TRYING to KILL him, and certainly trying to force me OUT of the situation so they could do as they will without someone in their right mind examining their “treatments” and motive. It was awful. It’s over and behind us now (although I’m wiser) and that’s where I want it to be. Still, I want the blog up there for others who may run onto it as they fight the medical establishment. Maybe it will help someone someday. But I don’t want to drag that around behind me. It’s not part of our lives now (because we outsmarted them in the long run, nyah nyah nyah nyah-nyah-nyah) and it isn’t part of THIS blog. So that’s why this one finally started being used a little bit here and there to update the family and friends.(Love you more than you know) I’ve really tried to keep it more of an upbeat and positive place to visit without all the angry ranting. I said I’ve TRIED. Sometimes I just have to vent.
Anyway. Here’s the deal. I’m going to see if I can’t do SOMETHING that will kickstart my creativity, and my desire to create or if it’s something (like many other things) that I’m content to let live in the past. Feel free to ride along on my experiement/experience if you wish.
Due to my current state of no inspiration and wandering lost among the cacti I thought it might be fun(ish) to test out some random blog post idea generators. So today I tried this one on Hubspot. It asked me for five nouns. It was tough – LOL – but I managed to come up with five subjects I am interested in (in general that actually should be NARROWED it down to just five subjects -such is the depth of my malaise) and it gave me five blog post titles to go from.
- Life: Expectations vs. Reality
- Will Healing Ever Rule The World?
- The Next Big Thing In Anime
- Gaming Explained in Fewer than 140 Characters
- This Weeks Tops Stories About Nature
(Edited later to add links to the articles)
The mind boggles. There’s a couple there I could probably write a book on. At least one I don’t feel remotely qualified to write about. A haiku (LOL). And one that should be lots of fun for me to go down the rabbit hole on. (I’ve already been down one rabbit hole in this post and then I didn’t even talk about it).
I think I should probably set myself a schedule or I’ll just wander off and never come back to this. Wouldn’t be the first time. Daily is beyond me, especially this time of year when the afternoon temp reaches 115F and the temp inside the Firefly reaches 101F and my brain melts and my body says SLEEEEEEEP. (I learned siesta in New Mexico – I like it) I am seriously considering setting an alarm to get up an hour earlier in the mornings to write. This is huge for me. I DETEST getting up to an alarm. I’m NOT a morning person. If I am up at 4 am it’s far more likely that I simply have not slept all night. Yet during this time of year, 4 am is the only time of day that it’s cool enough to THINK.
Living in Nevada has been an exercise in bending myself to fit into this climate. I was surprised, as I did bend a bit to live in New Mexico but loved it. Here, it’s bend or drop dead. Nevada doesn’t gently encourage you to learn to live with the climate, it pounds the hell out of you until you learn to deal with it somehow. I’ve already made an enormous change in learning to literally hide in the house all summer instead of spending the warm months outdoors. The “warm months” here are spring and autumn. Bracketed by brutal summer and shitty winter (that teases by tossing out a nice day here and there). Flow of thought.
I have kind of a weekly schedule. Saturdays I watch cartoons most of the day. Sundays I hang out with hubby and we play mostly analog games together. Monday and Tuesday in general I blog, read blogs, and knock the email inbox to zero. Or try to. Wednesday/Thursday I binge watch anime. Fridays are for gaming. That’s a very general and open sort of intentions schedule. Now where do I fit in blogging? Like, you know, really blogging? Intentionally. LOL. It might interfere with my gaming time. I’m addicted to my Nintendo Switch.
You know what. I really do feel like this needs to be daily or I’ll just wander off. Sigh. I’ll set an alarm. But I reserve the right to actually write at say… 2 am and then turn the alarm off and get that hours sleep. My sleep is really erratic right now, so I do tend to grab it when I can.
I was going to tackle the first subject today but then I got to rambling this flow of thought thing and well, it’s a long post, eh? Tomorrow. How weird to start something new practically middle of the week. But then, that’s okay because I have noticed that most of my readers show up on Friday. If you really only check on this on Fridays (I’m amazed you check it at all with a two month hiatus last time) you’ll have a big surprise waiting…
I’ll give it a week – these five posts plus a couple random – counting this one – and see how I feel and how I’m doing. Feel free to chime in. Jump in, the waters…lukewarm. LOL.
P.S. All of the photos here, and in general illustrating my posts are from ABSFreePic.com.