The Sky is Crying

Today is that most unusual of weathers here in southern New Mexico.  Rainy.  Not the monsoon storms, that swoop in out of a clear sky in the afternoon to pour gallons and then vanish as swiftly as they arrived.  But a day long soaker.  What some Native Americans call “the female rain” that is soft but constant.  Perfect for the plants and soil made delicate by drought. My husband and I call it “sleeping weather”.  For some reason, the sight of a sky like this wants me to crawl right back into bed with warm blankets, hot tea, and a good book and stay there the rest of the day to doze, read, and doze some more. I think nature means for us to take a break now and then.  I feel like the Goddess is saying – “You humans go lay down out of the way somewhere and rest.  I’m doing my washing today.” 

Source: The Sky is Crying

Does Facebook Cause Depression?


facebookdepressionI read an article the other day that said spending time on Facebook can cause depression. From what they said, the problem is people scroll down through all the pictures and status updates of wonderful, happy, beautiful families and get sad because they don’t have the new car, the wonderful children, the engagement ring, the scrumptious dinners or whatever that these other people have.


Seems to me that what makes those people unhappy is not Facebook, but comparing themselves to others.   And comparing yourself to other people is almost always a formula for misery. It is also the greatest and deepest falsehood we ever tell ourselves.   Because you can bet that the wonderful happy family you are seeing in the photos is not always perfect and joyful.   They have trials and tribulations, ill health, arguments, and bills like anyone else – they simply chose not to share that with the universe at large. Or maybe they are having a good week – and next week they’ll be venting about something.


Another thing the study said was that we think that going to Facebook will make us happy – but it has the opposite effect. I admit, I do often go to Facebook when I am having a bad moment. I go and I laugh at the silly cute cat/dog/horse videos or pictures, and I get happy and excited about other peoples good news. Sometimes I find an interesting article, a beautiful photo, a pithy saying that makes me laugh or nod in agreement.


I will admit that I went to Facebook a couple of days ago and got sad. It seemed like a number of my Facebook friends were facing health challenges. Several were in the hospital for one reason or another. But I took that opportunity to close my eyes and send them some distance Reiki healing – something I have recently learned and want to practice. I stop and give them blessings and send healing light and energy. You see, I know that that truly does work – for the prayers, blessings, candles, healing light and simple support of so many good friends on Facebook have gotten us through a pretty rough year in 2016. When it seemed like I would burst from anger and frustration at our messed up medical system, I vented at Facebook and got support, sympathy, met others who were dealing with much of the same, and even some good suggestions for things we could do, or how to lodge a complaint with the correct authorities. To tell the truth, it was good for me to simply get to vent, to get it off my chest, and to hear that others found some of the treatment we received as outrageous as I believed it was. And now, as with any social network, be it the neighbors or church, or Facebook, I visit my friends and I offer sympathy, blessings, and a shoulder to cry or vent on. It’s not so much that I owe it, as I want to be there for the people who were there for me.


I disagree with this study.   I feel that Facebook is like everything else in life – it is whatever you make of it. If you read your friends and families good news and you’re reaction is envy, jealousy, and anger or frustration – that’s on you. Other people read their family and friends happy news and are totally delighted for them. It makes me happy to know my friends are happy. It gives me joy to see my friends or family succeed or accomplish something they dreamed of. But that’s me.


You know – I’ve been accused of always making the best of a situation no matter what it is.


What actually upsets me and makes me unhappy is taking surveys.


I work several hours a week for the Mechanical Turk and many of the better paying jobs are taking surveys.   Many of those surveys are so slanted I want to reach through the computer and strangle the researcher.   Dozens of questions like this; “Women should not be CEOs of major corporations because they are not emotionally suited to the work.” Agree, Disagree, Strongly Disagree. “Men are natural leaders. Only men should be in governmental leadership positions.” Agree, Disagree, Strongly Disagree, Punch Out Your Computer. Lately there have been a lot of studies that are clearly slanted to try and get you to say that women belong in the home and are not “fulfilled” if they don’t have half a dozen little children at their feet, and similar sentiments.


And then there are the studies that assume we all have approximately the same, perfect, happy Leave It To Beaver family situations – and if we don’t, then we are automatically unhappy, right? I filled out a survey today that asked me about ten times how much I loved my mother and I chose “not at all” like ten times. Bet I gave them something to think about! Now and again there is one that crops up where they invite transgender and bisexual people in – and then all the questions are slanted to try and get you to say you are miserable because you don’t have a “normal” relationship. “Don’t you wish you could be normal?” Yes, No, Go fuck yourself.   What’s normal?


Not all studies are like that, of course, but there are studies like that floating around out there.   So, as much as I like studies and the idea that we can understand others and ourselves a little better through research – I take that stuff with a grain of salt.


There are days when I open my Facebook page and all the news is sad. When they were turning fire hoses on the water protectors, or when Prince died.   You know what I do then? I post a sympathy post, and then I close the page and I go do something else with my time.


When I get one of those sickening surveys – well it depends. If I am feeling strong that day I forge ahead, less for the 50 cents now and more to fuck with ’em. If I am having a difficult day, then I close it up and go find some other job to do.


I choose happiness.   I choose not to be unhappy if I can help it. We all choose that every minute of every single day. You cannot control every single aspect of life – but you certainly can choose how you react to it, and whether you decide to deal with it, wallow in it, or walk away.


Not everything allows you to walk away. Not every thing in life is happy – but you can find the happy, bright spots. When we were going through all this medical hell with my husband last year they told me quite frequently that he would die.   Well – he’s still here. And every morning when I wake up and he is here, I’m happy. Then we go deal with whatever crap the universe might have cooked up to throw at us for the day. I have only survived my life by grabbing on and clinging like hell to every moment of joy the universe offers me. For half of my life they were pretty few and far between. I think it made me stronger, and more appreciative of the good things.


But that’s another post altogether.



(Post on how abused children seem to be happier adults, stronger, and are we really doing our children a favor to give them a perfect life?)






Honored to be Coyote

Walking through the reclamation area today – a bit of desert wetlands salvaged from the city of Las Cruces by the City (thank you) I was tickled to see the tracks of a coyote. Following them they ran smoothly into some of my own tracks from earlier and vanished. In fact, it looked as if a coyote had suddenly morphed into a human shape wearing Converse shoes.I would be honored if anyone were to think that I was a coyote shapeshifter. Coyotes are tough, smart, mystical, magical, deities – and survivors. Like Coyote I not only survive, but also thrive in the most remote desert areas or in a small hidden bit of wild in the middle of the city. The coyote in the photo captured and ate a ground squirrel under my watchful eye, in a patch of desert sandwiched between a busy hospital parking lot and a highway service road. He vanished into a little arroyo when he was done. Several people walked by while he gulped down his dinner without ever noticing him. When my husband and I pointed him out to one young man, he simply shrugged and went on. Like the coyote, I am all but invisible to many people – and a nasty, vicious predator to some of those who notice. As a deity, Coyote is well known as a trickster spirit. This is something I can identify with as well, although I consider myself a pixie. It isn’t that we are bad, exactly, but we simply have a different moral standard of what is right and wrong. And it is so much fun to prick self-righteous, judgmental… pricks. Coyote has a darker side. In some Native American tribes the Skinwalker, who can turn himself into Coyote among other animals, is not a good person at all, but someone to be feared and shunned. In modern day New Mexico, or any of the border states, the term human coyote refers to a particular type of person who takes money to sneak people across the border from Mexico. Some of them are more or less honorable I suppose, but many of them are quite willing and capable of abandoning people in the desert after taking their money. But I am Pagan, and pagans understand that every aspect of the universe has both a dark and a light side. If it were not for the night, when would you see the stars shine?I call my husband Crow Boy. Now that we moved further Southwest, I call him Raven Boy. Since I met him he has always attracted the attention of the corbis family. No matter where we live, there is a raven in the tree closest to us and ravens often follow us anywhere we go. Ravens and Coyote have a particular special symbiotic relationship in the wild. In summer, the coyote’s sharp nose leads him unerringly to any nearby carrion or easy food source. The Ravens follow the Coyotes. In the winter, the Raven flies high and wide and with his sharp eyes spots carrion or easy food. The Coyote follows Raven.I like to think my husband and I have a very similar relationship. Those characteristics and abilities that I am lacking in, he is expert at doing. And those talents and abilities I am good at, by and large, are in areas he is lacking. Together we are a team and we are invincible.In my unpublished book A Coyote, A Tanuki, and A Kitsune, the coyote character is a spirit animal, a piece of a deity – unlike the other two who are undoubtedly magical mythical creatures from Japanese lore. Although he is able to take the shape of a human, and has done so for the purposes of finding out what the humans are up to he is truly a spirit animal and his natural form is that of Coyote. And, I admit, he is my favorite. Many a page of dialogue that will probably never be publicly seen are long philosophical discussions between Joe (the coyote) and Smoky (a human bar owner and … maybe a little more). Yes, I would be amused and honored if anyone were to think I was Coyote. But, actually, of course, I’m a pixie.Thanks for your time and blessedbeI am Summer Foovay

Source: Honored to be Coyote

In the beginning

Neglected much this blog?  Truth; I’m only back because I notice several blogs I like to comment on are here – and WP more or less insists that I use my WP account.  And if you will be looking back here to learn who I am, well then maybe I should have something here.  And a few things may have changed since Nano 2012.

Okay, a lot has changed.

I don’t even know where to begin.

But the first day of 2017 is a good place to start, eh?  This year…this year I want to help my husband regain his health as we adjust to a new lifestyle dictated by those changes.  I want to regain my own fitness level, also somewhat demolished by last years events.  And I am rededicating myself to my writing and to hopefully turning my trickle of royalties into a flood.

Currently I am reading Rise of the Machines by Kristen Lamb and finding it not only enlightening, but affirming of my own instincts.  I’m also reading the Play to Live series by D. Rus and loving every minute of it, and the Tubby Dubonnet mysteries by Tony Dunbar and loving them.  Grit and humor.

Yesterday and today some of my books on Kindle went free for the next five days or so.  I’m pretty lazy, so I’m just going to say they are all listed (except for the one starting today) at my blog – the one I use most of the time – over at blogger.  You can check them out by clicking here.  The one that starts today, well, I’ll blog about it over there.

I’m writing at Wattpad, too, if you are over there.

As time goes on, I’ll work on getting the profile and links and all that stuff updated over here, too.

Happy New Year and may 2017 be a year full of blessings for all!


Summer Foovay