If you are working that Law of Attraction…

A word of caution.

A long time ago the expert mechanic who worked on my families cars told me, “Do not do what you love for work, because then it becomes work and eventually you do not love it anymore.”

Today every expert on the Law of Attraction, and on making millions tells you to “follow your dreams” or “do what you love” and the money will come. And of course we ALL want to be millionaires, right? (No, but we do by and large wish we could live a little more comfortably – but that doesn’t play as well in the ads)

I loved to draw, and I loved to write. Twenty years ago I was among the first few to hear and heed that advice. I spent twenty years chasing my dream in many forms, perverting my writing and my art, twisting and turning it to fit whatever mold was the current best, easy way to make lots of money with your art/writing according to the latest experts in the crafts.

Not only did I not ever become a millionaire – in fact, I never made what anyone would consider a living wage – I’ve lost the love.

I’m retired now. Really. Well, okay, as retired as I will ever be. Now and then I do get the itch to draw. As you can see here, once in a while I have some thoughts I feel compelled to commit to paper (so to speak) but by and large I am not really interested. And if I do create, I am even less interested in sharing it publicly. The last thing I want to do is twist and turn it into something that might make me a buck or two.

It’s tempting to turn the comments off on this post. If you are going to scream at me that I’m all wrong and should shut up and not tell anyone that the latest fad failed, spare me, please? Or, of course, I must have done it all wrong and it is my fault. I worry that the way this latest philosophy is taught, it always leaves that opening – that if you don’t succeed it is not the fault of the method but YOUR fault. You didn’t do it right, or enough, or with enough focus or belief or whatever. And if that is what you think, I’m fine with that. Just keep it to yourself. Thanks.

But consider, if you’ve been pounding at your dreams for a few years, or are just thinking about diving in – it could just be the latest craze. After all, there is no better way to make money than to promise to tell other people how to make money if they will just send you a few dollars…

Don’t get me wrong. I do believe in affirmations. I believe in prayer and blessings and reiki and paying it forward and karma. I’ve seen all those things work in my life, in my own experience.

Just not the ones about making a living with my creativity. So, it’s not meant to be, and that’s fine. But I wish I had not pursued my dream until it became more of a nightmare. And I’d rather share this so that maybe others won’t do the same thing.

How about this. Do what makes you a living. Use your extra money to enjoy your dreams.



Living on the Down Low

(Cross-posted at Blogger) If you are one of the few brave souls who have been with me for lo these many years of blogging and writing and webpage designing, wow, I love you. 

So you’ve probably noticed at some point I’m actually an introvert. Left to my own devices I would use the Internet for learning, research, entertainment, and keeping in touch with people who are now spread far and wide. 

However, in 1999 or so I embarked on a journey to “make money on the Internet”. What a long, strange trip it’s been. And to that end as advised by every advisor, I had a “web presence”. Just as I once forced myself to smile and approach customers and make small talk, I then forced myself to smile and write what I hoped were useful and/or interesting blogs and social media posts. It had it’s moments. I met some pretty awesome people. I got to have some major rants. I have kept journals since I was a child, so blogging was more or less a natural extension although now I was writing to a specific subject and/or audience much of the time. I like to write.

Not only have I never become “rich working from home”, I’ve never come anywhere near making a living. And recently, not just me, but my husband has been soundly punished and penalized in a severe fashion that could have actually caused his death because I dared to make a few bucks. Literally, I made less than $20 per month in royalties and for that we were penalized $165 out of his check for six months, along with the loss of all food stamps and all of my medical. We literally could not afford enough to eat or the supplements and vitamins he must have. Interesting enough, I can sell plasma – make more money in less time – and not be penalized at all for that. It’s taken me about a year to get this all straightened out, and I’m learning that we can live in his income and still have his medical needs met. If I don’t make anything! 

This is NOT an easy thing for me. I think I’ve got to be DOING SOMETHING all the time. So I AM. You know, most people retire and do those things they always wanted to do. So, I’m retired and what I always wanted to do was learn. I always wanted to go to college, read non-fiction, etc. I can’t afford college so I’m enjoying books, documentaries and my big splurge – Great Courses. 

And as you may have noticed, I’ve all but quit blogging. I no longer have any need of a public web presence. I’ll probably write, and I’ll probably find a spot to republish my novels where you can read them online for free. One of these days. Yes, I’ll post a link here when I do. And, face it, I like to rant now and then. Even if I do suspect it makes the government watch me. As if they have time to bother with me – surely they have better things to do.

My point being – don’t look for daily or even weekly or even monthly posts. I’ll write when I’ve got something to say that I think merits a public forum. Hope that works for you. If you’re a close pal who would like more frequent updates, check out my facebook page. I’ve closed my Twitter account, and my Patreon account and I don’t actually use anything now except facebook to post on, this blog, and my blog at blogger. Posts here will probably be crossposted there. Posts that are rants will go here. Posts that are reviews or stuff to do with anime, books, etc. will probably go live at WordPress now. Chances are that in time, most everything will end up at WordPress. 

Thanks for being here

Blessed be

Summer Foovay

My Own Little Slightly Odd Halloween Story For This Year

kinginyellowRecently, I’ve begun selling plasma. After overcoming my initial panic at any sharp pointy thing being stabbed into my finger or arm, and all the medical exams and such, it’s become pretty routine if not painless.

Last Thursday I went in at the end of a day of errands. I had a lot I wanted to get done before Halloween and the hubby’s birthday – and that little bit of cash would help.

I take my Kindle, so I can play games or read one handed without too much trouble. I only have an hour to kill. The plasma center wasn’t very busy and got me in quickly and I settled down with a new book.

The King in Yellow is a very old book, published in 1895, of rather macabre short stories that share a theme of mentioning a play called the King In Yellow. The general idea is similar to The Ring in that if you read the play, you go crazy or die or something.. H.P. Lovecraft actually references the book in his Cthulu works, so nerd that I am when I heard about it I looked and found it free on the Kindle. I thought it would be fitting reading for the week before Halloween.

I was a little ways into the first story about a man just leaving an asylum. He had been misdiagnosed as mad after being kicked in the head by a horse. When he recovered a bit, the doctor realized his mistake and treated him for the head injury, then let him go. During his convalescence, the man found a copy of The King in Yellow and began to read it. He wanted to stop, but he somehow was obsessed and couldn’t stop reading…

Right about there my vision went blurry and strange and the blackness closed in. I sat up and tried to get someone’s attention but…

Well, next thing I knew I was semi-conscious and six people were standing around my bed talking about me, asking me questions, pouring saline into my arm, and taking my vitals. I had passed out for the first time during the procedure.

Once I felt a little better and could at least make sense if you asked me a question, they taped me up and let me go. Sadly, I did not get my red blood cells back, so I can’t donate again for two months. Meanwhile, I’ve enjoyed (NOT) several days of being a bit woozy and pukey now and again.

And I haven’t read any more of that book yet…

Amazon’s response to my account being hacked – is to steal it.

(cross posted in many places because I feel this information needs to get out and because at this point I think it is funny)

So this has been ongoing now for about two weeks.

My Amazon payment account got hacked. ONLY my Amazon payment account. But I got a little excited since they could conceivably have gotten my banking information from that.

First Amazon said my email had to have been hacked. Well, then they would have had not only my banking info but other very possible sensitive information. The hacker changed my password on my Amazon payment account (which Amazon makes me use to get my money off Mechanical Turk jobs) but nothing else has been touched. But anyway – it’s all my fault.

They said they could close my account, or temporarily disable it, investigate and re-enable. They told me if they closed it I would lose all of my books, games, apps and other digital purchases. I’ve been buying books and games through them for nearly 20 years and have literally OVER ONE THOUSAND kindle books. So they said if they disabled it, I would get the account back unchanged.

They did disable it. They never re-enabled it or got back to me about any investigation. I called and had it re-enabled. Only to discover that my books, apps, and games were all gone. All my order history, reviews, author page, etc. was gone. I don’t have the courage to even go look at my Mechanical Turk and Kindle publishing accounts.

I’ve contacted them several times since and they keep saying they’ll investigate and get back to me. Last night I bought a book, but I can’t get it sent to any of my devices because – surprise – I don’t have any devices registered on my stripped account. So I tried to chat with them again.

As a piece of pure comedy – here’s a transcript of that chat.


Here’s a copy of the chat transcript you requested:
01:27 AM PDT krishna(Amazon)Hello, my name is krishna. I’m here to help you today.
01:28 AM PDT krishnaA member of our Appstore team will be the perfect person to help you with this. Let me connect you to a member of our Appstore team. It will only take a minute.
01:28 AM PDT Saravana(Amazon)Hello, my name is Saravana. Please give me a moment to review the previous correspondence.
To help you with this, let me connect you to a member of our Retail team. It will only take a moment.​
01:29 AM PDT Summer FoovayI have informed several people of this problem and Amazon apparently has no interest in resolving it. Perhaps I should simply report your theft to the attorney general
01:29 AM PDT Abrar(Amazon)Hello, my name is Abrar. Please give me a moment to review the previous correspondence.
01:31 AM PDT AbrarAs I see you see charges for apps and games.
Let me check your account and help you with the best.
01:31 AM PDT Summer FoovayFrom my computer I can see nothing. No books, no devices, no apps, no games. No orders. I’ve had an account for something like twenty years.
I got hacked and you punished me.
01:32 AM PDT Summer FoovayAnd you are still punishing me.
Your punishment could conceivably cost me more than you can imagine if you have also purged all records of the sales of my kindle books and my mechanical turk income as well.
01:33 AM PDT AbrarLet me check and help you with the best.
01:33 AM PDT Summer FoovayYou don’t even speak good english. I doubt you can help. And this isn’t the first time I have complained about it.
My complaints have been ignored. 
01:34 AM PDT AbrarI apologize for the trouble, please stay connected while I refer you to the specialized team to get more help.
01:34 AM PDT AmazonHello, my name is Satya. Please give me a moment to review the previous correspondence.
01:34 AM PDT Summer FoovayAre you even a human being? I doubt it. Okay, my fourth different “customer service” agent
01:35 AM PDT AmazonI’m really sorry for the multiple transfers. I can assure that I won’t transfer you again
01:36 AM PDT Summer FoovayI was hacked. I called and reported it. My account was supposedly disabled for “investigation” rather than closed. Then it was never re-enabled until I called and complained. Then I discovered my account was purged – all my devices removed, all my books gone, all my apps gone, all my games – gone. Twenty years of purchases – gone.
01:37 AM PDT Summer FoovayI’ve now contacted Amazon three times about it and never gotten any satisfactory reply. Supposedly I only disabled the account so that this would not happen.
01:37 AM PDT Faaiq(Amazon)Hello, my name is Faaiq. Please give me a moment to review the previous correspondence.
01:38 AM PDT Summer FoovayI used to work in customer service, late at night like this. We would transfer people we didn’t want to deal with around and around and laugh and laugh about them
Which is exactly what you are doing now.
01:38 AM PDT FaaiqI’m very sorry for all the hassle caused.
Please don’t worry i will help you with it.
01:39 AM PDT Summer FoovaySo I’m going to publish this chat on Facebook, Twitter, and all five of my blogs, as well as turn it over to news outlets and contact my attorney general for your theft of 20 years of digital purchases. 
Laugh about that.
Thank you.

What’s Next?

Cross-posted from both Facebook and my blog at Blogger.

Of late I’ve had a rant or thought or two that I felt was worthy of writing – like a blog post. Except I think blog posts are a thing of the past. Most people seem unwilling or unable to read anything of over 140 characters.

Facebook has had such a loss of confidence it’s ridiculous. For myself, I’ve met some wonderful people there and I’ll probably always drop by now and then to check in and see how my friends are doing. That said, I could drop the other 500 people who are my “friends” I never hear from.

The New York Times has changed their website and in the process removed BYLINES. Even the readers are protesting, but the company won’t back down because it makes the page “look better on phones”. I’m so sick of everything being set up to look good on a phone. For one thing, my poor people phone won’t go there anyway. For another, I don’t WANT to surf the Internet on my phone because I OWN A COMPUTER. And pages set up to “look good on a phone” look like SHIT on the computer. And don’t work properly if you are using a mouse instead of touch technology. Guess what – my artists drawing tablet doesn’t work properly with a touch computer/tablet. I can…draw…or surf the web. Not so hard to chose for me.

After Shark Week I was screen o’d’ed and went analog for a week. I’ve never really returned. It reminded me, when I came back and tried to create one simple fucking template to print and cut out and use for some analog artwork, what a PITA the computer is (especially since Windows keeps trying to set up my computer to RUN AS A FUCKING TABLET OR PHONE.

This world is slowly but surely splitting into those who have a six figure income and do EVERYTHING on their latest IPhone … and the rest of us.

I ask you this. How many authors have written their latest novel on an IPhone? How many artists create their work on an IPhone? No, seriously, I am wondering. Even game designers and artists, do you think they do their work on an IPhone? Do they? I really don’t know. I do know I cannot actually draw on a postage stamp with my finger, so I, at least, will not ever be able to draw on an Iphone sized screen.

So, I’m finally starting to think about coming off my self imposed lengthy vacation after the rigors of moving to Las Vegas (that’s a whole ‘nother rant and part of it has to do with researching a move on the Internet and the false and inadequate information thereof and compared to researching the move to New Mexico a decade ago on the internet and the helpful information found at that time)

Blogs are dead. Facebook may as well be dead. Amazon is dead to me. Twitter is the bastion of the buffoon. And you see I’m not good with 140 characters. I am actually thinking of reactivating my Patreon account and using it as a blog and a place to post art and writing and information about more lengthy and larger art and writing. I’m also finally embracing my path as a healer and empath and plan on more creation regarding those subjects (reiki meditation cards anyone?). I’m actually looking at YouTube videos, with something like a MMD character standing in for me because I’m old and toothless – and that does work well with Patreon. Thoughts? Anyone? If you actually enjoy my art/writing/rants would you subscribe to a YouTube channel or spend a buck a month on Patreon to hang in with me?

Now on Facebook I asked for comments. But for those who still read blogs I have a short additional rant.

Anyone who blogged through the heyday of blogs knows all about SPAM commenters. The result of those is that blogging software was developed to try and get rid of them, and in time the result of THAT was to make it nearly impossible to simply COMMENT on a blog with a real comment. I get a few but I know that the bar is set really high to get in here and comment (I appreciate very much those of you who climb that barrier). I’m going to also cross post to my Word Press blog, BTW, where commenting is very slightly easier. If you happen to have a WordPress blog.

I wasn’t going to post it to the blog at all, but I checked stats and I see that I actually have in the area of 50 people who actually still do read the blog. Yay you! I ask you – would you spend a buck a month to read – probably much more content – on Patreon? Along with seeing pictures or bits of my current WIP?

Meanwhile, I know I’ve mentioned this before – but if you do read blog entries, I do think I’m going to go with my previous inclination to switch to using my Word Press blog in the future. You’ll find it here:

(oh wait, you found it already – LOL)

Now I need to run along. It is taking a combination of myself, my husband, his computer, my computer and the printer to make it possible for me to create the basic building blocks of reiki meditation cards on my computer and send it to his in such a fashion that he can send it to the printer and the printer software/Windows/who knows what – doesn’t “help” us out by reformatting and screwing everything up.

Wish I could freehand draw a perfect circle…


Summer Foovay

First Friday


Las Vegas has a monthly art festival in the arts district – the first friday of every month, called (aptly enough) First Friday. We discovered it by accident one day and added it to our monthly schedule as a must see.  I promised myself that this First Friday I would buy myself that pretty little yellow parasol I admired last month. Happy (early) birthday to me – Summer Solstice and so forth.

Off and on I have been attempting to get a daily photo of our new life in Las Vegas. I will attempt to post the best of the previous week on Mondays – how’s that? Or you can follow my photos on my timeline at Flickr/Smug Mug or whatever it is now.



(Cross posted from my blog Foovay’s Zibaldone – because I want this warning spread as far and wide as possible)


First you should know these are all apparently the same group although they are listed seperately on the Medicare.gov website.

On the Medicare.gov website you have a page to help you choose your Medicare Part D coverage. You are told to list all the drugs you are on, and then you are shown those companies that claim they will cover each and every one of those drugs.

We did that. We chose a plan covering all five of my husbands medications, United Healthcare Group. They have now denied two of his most important, life saving prescriptions.

He can die fast, or slow. Fast if he has a heart attack from not having his Corlanor. And very very slow and painfully as his bones soften in response to an over production of hormones from his Parathyroid Gland now that they have denied the Hectoral.


The King of ironic and ridiculous decisions:
UnitedHealth Group company will not approve corlanor because he doesn’t have recent clinicals showing he has a heart rate of over 70. THIS IS BECAUSE HE IS ON THE CORLANOR AND IT IS WORKING TO SLOW HIS HEART RATE.
He can’t have corlanor. Because it is working.
So, the doctor is going to fight it. But I told him we could win really easily. Take him off the Corlanor. Wait a few days. His heart rate will go back to 120 and then we can prove he has a condition requiring Corlanor. His doctor says this is not even a rational decision. But it is apparently what the insurance company wants us to do – to PROVE he needs the drug by forcing him off of it and making him return to being sick, risking greater damage to his heart and a possible massive heart attack.
United Health Medicare Part D is beyond suck. They claim ON MEDICARES WEBSITE to cover all his drugs.
Of his five prescriptions they have approved 3 and are fighting us for two life necessary prescriptions. One of which he has been taking for EIGHT YEARS. Being paid for by Humana’s Part D Medicare coverage – FOR EIGHT FUCKING YEARS. (This doctor also has taken over the fight for us)
Did you hear that? BOTH DOCTORS HAVE TAKEN ON THE INSURANCE COMPANY FOR HIM. And that’s why we are in Las Vegas. I couldn’t even get his doctors on the fucking phone in New Mexico.
So everyone who keeps telling me what a mistake it was to move here can suck my dick. We have the BEST team of healers now, doctors AND technicians in the dialysis clinic AND their office staff. What a huge difference. It is so good to work with people who do their jobs and do them as if that is the NORMAL thing to do rather than…well..something they’d rather do manyana.
Please, share the information about these killer insurance companies who are lying on Medicare’s own official website about their drug coverage.
There is no complaint process for their misrepresentation, and no penalties for it either (believe me, I’ve looked). The only way people who are in need of medical care, in need of prescriptions, and on Medicare can find out is for these murderers to deny their meds and then maybe, if you live long enough, you can get a doctor who will stand up to them or get another policy before you die or become too ill to continue to fight.
AVOID THESE COMPANIES. THEY ARE LYING about the drugs that they will cover.
We are well enough, I am well enough, to engage in this battle to save my husbands life. You might not be. Your grandmother might not be. So be WARNED before you make a choice and chose badly because of misinformation published on an official government website, Medicare.gov.